Humility

Humility is an interesting thing. I'll start out pridefully by saying I believe I am a fairly competent person. God has blessed me with a sharp brain, surprising people skills, quick musical abilities, and enough common sense to not get myself killed (despite contrary belief). I've always said I could make it pretty far on my own, through my own abilities and work ethic, and yet, "pretty far" isn't far enough. I believe God has called me to even greater things, well beyond my capabilities. And so, I get to learn the fun lesson of humility. This lesson has come in various forms- being driven by security to the nurse's office because I was too weak to walk to our dorm lobby. Meekly accepting food offered by housemates when they realized I'd skipped every meal that day to work and hadn't packed anything. Receiving a failing grade on a paper and having to rewrite it to pass a class required for my major. And most recently (and I think to the greatest extreme) support raising to work at Crossroads Farm. No matter how much I know this is what God has called me to do, no matter the lessons I know He is teaching, no matter how excited others are to support Nathan and I in our ministry- the prideful, sinful nature in me cries out in anguish every time I pick up the phone to make a support raising call. It desires full independence from everyone around it, not wanting to owe a penny to anyone. And yet, I do not want to sound ungrateful, because God has called us into His service. He has given us a place and a ministry and a means to get there. He has already provided the money for us- all we have to do is invite others to follow Him and obey. And I am both grateful and amazed at the ways God has surprised Nathan and I through our calls and meetings. We should not be where we are with the raw abilities we have (which, I might add, are also not really our own).The only explanation for any of our success and the only one deserving any credit is God. And that, is both inspiring and humbling.